An awkward question
by dipothebookworm
Summary: Maka asks a burning question that needs an answer; "Soul? Why don't weapons wear clothes in weapon form?" Pure crack, oneshot, may develop into a short series.
1. Clothes and weapons

**An awkward question**

(A/N: I always wondered this, and I think that all of us deserve to know the answer. My first Soul Eater fic, I don't own it, etc, etc.)

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><p>At Kid's house, a party for the DWMA was going on, and the whole gang was there. Maka walked from the buffet with a full plate and a strange expression. She didn't usually look like that, as she was a nerd who did nothing but read, so she knew everything, Soul thought.<p>

"Soul? I had a question for you. Well, for all the weapons in general, really."

"What is it, Maka?"

"What happens to your clothes when you become a weapon?"

Silence. Not a good silence, but the awkward kind that makes everybody wish that some idiot would jump in and add a stupid comment so that the quiet would STOP.

Tsubaki spoke for all the weapons when she said: "Uh?"

"Well, when you are in weapon form, you aren't wearing anything inside it. Do your clothes like, morph into the weapon, or are you in some random room where clothes aren't allowed? Do you know why?"

"I never really thought about that", Black Star added, "So what's up with that?"

Liz sighed.

"Do you really want to know why? If I tell you, it will kind of… derail your thoughts."

Maka nodded fervently.

"Yes! I want to know!"

"Fanservice."

"What?"

"I said fanservice."

All the weapons nodded, while Maka looked more confused.

"How do I explain it? We are in an anime. And the people that watch it really like seeing us do strange things, like not wearing clothes. So, to please the fans, we have to do things like, not wearing clothes, or being in hot springs, or basically doing things that would be considered sexually provoking. Got it?"

Maka nodded and sat down.

"You mean we're in an anime? We aren't real?"

"No, we are not. We're just characters that someone made up, and as soon as this story is over, we go back into nonexistence."

"THATS NOT TRUE! I'M REAL! Right, Soul?"

Soul just patted her on the back and looked sympathetic.

"It's OK. You will get used to it. Not existing isn't really that bad, and we get to do whatever we want!"

"Even flying on rainbow penguins?"

"Yes."

And all the weapons and meisters went to Brazil and flew on rainbow penguins until this story ended.

The end.

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><p>(AN: Yeah, I'm sorry. I am guilty of breaking the fourth wall. Well, I'm not really sorry. If you want reality, go outside. Review! I want to know what other unanswered Soul Eater questions people have!)


	2. Anime ending

(A/N:I don't own Soul Eater, obviously. Wheeeeeee. Oh, and did I say this was a oneshot? Oops. The only reason I am writing this is because i just finished watching Soul Eater and need to vent, because I am PISSED. Just a warning, if you haven't finished the anime, **spoilers galore**. Oh, and this will be written kind of like an interview...)

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><p>Maka: So, our anime ended. What happens to all of us?<p>

Soul: They didn't really explain that. I think that your pervy dad hooks up with Stein, though. And that little girl reunites with her family, I guess.

Maka: That's good. Do I ever make you a deathscythe?

Soul: Probably. You're Magic Maka. Whatever you wish happens.

Black Star: Hey, how did Maka defeat the Kishin, anyway? They didn't really say anything about that either.

Maka: Oh, I defeated him with my bravery.

Tsubaki: Wait, what the hell? BRAVERY? WHAT THE ACTUAL F***?!

Soul: Maka, that doesn't make sense.

Maka: Sure it does. I was brave, and laughed in the face of death.

Liz: That is complete and utter bullshit. So you defeated the Kishin with BRAVERY? So YOU are the only brave one in the entire DWMA? None of the hundreds of people who offered their lives to defeating him were brave? Only you were? What about all of us? We jumped inside the Kishin's magic bubble and risked our lives. So we weren't brave?

Maka: Er…

Kid: Yeah, I want to hear your reasoning for this, too. We all nearly died. Why were you the only brave one? Explain, Magic Maka.

Soul: Yeah. The whole 'brave' thing makes no sense. If you had defeated the Kishin with some random-ass once in an eternity move that you got from your great grand-mother or something, that would have kind of made sense. Like that thing when you were unconscious and became a weapon and attacked Asura. If that was what took him down, it would have make sense. But, bravery? I'm calling bullshit on that one..

Maka: I defeated him with a punch, though.

Kid: That is a TERRIBLE excuse. Literally all of us here are stronger than you. If it only took a punch to defeat the Kishin, then Black Star would have done it within minutes.

(everyone starts demanding to know, getting madder and madder)

Maka: OK, OK! I'll tell you! It's because I'm the main character, I kind of have to win.

Kid: Don't be silly, Soul is the main character. The anime was named after him!

Maka: No, he's the titular character. If you hadn't noticed, he doesn't really do anything. NOne of the weapons really do anything, anyway. The meisters do all the work. The weapons just 'soul resonate'. What does that even mean? Do they just concentrate on making a soul connection? What?

Kid: Don't change the subject.

Maka: Sorry. But I had to win, and the 'bravery' thing was the easiest way to end the series.

Tsubaki: Well, that makes as much sense as anything else in this weird show. Why not?

Soul: Wanna play basketball?

Everyone: YEAH!

Patty: Is Crona a guy or a girl?

THE END

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><p>And the moral of the story is: The manga is always better than the anime. Read it, you lazy bums!<p>

(A/N: I feel better now. Review, maybe?)


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